Tis The Season....

It's that time of year when....

Christmas songs and carols play on the radio from the 1st of December onwards and you're sick of them by the 10th of December.

TV channels start showing the Christmas movies.

It's not about the Christmas No1 but which company does the best Christmas advert.

You open and eat ALL the advent calendar chocolates on day one.

You forget to open the advent calendar and eat all the chocolates at the end of December.

You wait to see who in the street gets their decorations up first before you do yours. Unless it's the people who put them up on 1st November. They don't count.

The Christmas tree goes up and looks like you've sneezed the decorations over it.

No-one can remember whose turn it is to put the angel on the top of the tree so a fight ensues.

The trusty Argos catalogue returns to the house. It's just not the same on-line and the kids can't put rings around what they want.

The darling children have written their wish lists. You go shopping then convince them they wont get what they want so well  they change their minds.

You are all hot and bothered in the shops trying to track down the last "must have" toy of the year without losing your shit or paying 1500% over the odds on eBay.

Some smug bitch likes to tell everyone they were all shopped and wrapped by August 1st.

You take a picture of the Christmas Radio Times / TV Times next to your highlighter pen.

You record a load of shit and still haven't watched it by Easter.

You run out of sticky tape and/or wrapping paper.

You forget someones Christmas birthday.

You live on tenterhooks that the 10yo wont tell the 6yo Father Christmas isn't real in a fit of temper.

The kids are getting so excited by the preparations at school they can't sleep for the whole of December.

You hunt down the last King/donkey/sheep/camel/Mary/Joseph costume in the universe.

You go to the School play knowing you can't actually see your child in their costume.

You go to the school Christmas Fayre and spend more than the country's national debt and still come home with a bottle of cola from the tombola and a home-made jar of sweets.

You spend hours trying to remember the names of everyone in the class so the kids can write their Christmas cards... which take weeks. Start in the summer.

You feel like a pariah if you don't put into the teachers collection.

You feel like a pariah if you go rogue and your kids make their own present for the teacher.

You buy stupid amounts of chocolates and biscuits then eat them before Christmas arrives.

When it's over it's a relief, then you look forward to next year!