We've Clung On To The Age Of Innocence.. kind of.

Yesterday in the car on the way home, the nine year old turned to face me and said. "I want to ask you a question and I want you to be honest with me"  It's very odd when you hear yourself being repeated.

His question was:

Does Father Christmas buy the presents or do you?

Just two days prior to this MrM and I had had this conversation regarding the nine year old. Did he still believe or not?  I thought yes, hes generally quite young natured and naive. We've always told the children that as Father Christmas has so many children to look after, we have to save money to help him get all the presents. 

The nine year old has got an X-Box, however trying to find suitable games on an X-Box is a mission.  Apparently all his friends are playing Call of Duty (rated 18) and  HALO (rated 16).  I've told him that they aren't age appropriate and he has to wait until his older.  I'll let him watch age 12 films but I have to check them first. The current run of Marvel films are fantastic.  We share a Google Play account so I can make sure no inappropriate games are being downloaded and no money is being splashed out. You hear these horror stories where children have wracked up £1,000's of pounds worth of bills downloading in-app games.  

He's never been sure about the tooth fairy although he likes to get money under his pillow and he's never believed in the Easter Bunny and I've never promoted it. 

I also don't want him spoiling it for the five year old. At the moment they don't have the greatest relationship, it's all one-upmanship and he would love having the power of knowing something she didn't and dropping that bomb on her. She's a smart cookie and I'm sure will suss it before the age of nine but until then I want to keep her as young as I possibly can too.

So what did I do with that loaded question?

I lied through my back teeth to keep him believing!

When Will Feminism Come to Lego Town?

On October 9th 2014 Lego announced it is removing itself from it's association with Shell after a concerted Greenpeace effort.  So you'll no longer be able to buy a Lego Shell garage.  You can however still buy a lovely pink Lego Friends set where girls do nothing but sit in a beach house in their bikini's or trot off to ride their ponies.

When I was a child in the 1970's, Lego was bright, fun, a high quality creative play experience without any  gender stereo-typing.  It was for both boys and girls. Something which I'm sure my parents were pleased I could share with my older brother. Even if I did already wear his handed down jumpers & jackets for going out to play.

My son is a member of the Lego Club and gets his quarterly magazine. Until recently I didn't even know they send out different magazines for boys and girls! What's that all about? Different age groups; fine, but different genders. Is that really needed?

The marketing is pink & blue.. it's a shame. My four year old girl loves pink things but that doesn't mean I have to settle for buying everything in those colours. She has enough pink in her life, you can't fight it but you can try to steer them away gently away from it.

So if we have to have pink Lego aimed at girls, how about some positive role models? A Doctor (note, not just a nurse!), a vet, a judge, an engineer, a deep sea diver...maybe a Greenpeace protester?

Lets bring it back to the days when it was simple, you bought a plain box of bright bricks and used your imagination to build, not worry about a parent hoovering up the small bits because they weren't necessary essential to a set and always left one bit for some unsuspecting person to tread on.

Electronic Holiday.

Every summer we try to get away to sunnier climes for a couple of weeks. This year we went to Malta. Since having the kids we have done "all inclusive" holidays. They make sense. Unlimited drink, more food than you can shake a stick at and the most important part, kids club.

It's a sad sign of the times that we also brought with us plenty of "eletricals".  Tablet computer, two portable dvd players, two Nintendo DS's, our android phones, iPods.  It might seem a lot but when you are back in your hotel room and need some down time it's great to be able to plug in and relax. Shamefully it keeps the kids quiet too.

This year we made a rule that no electricals (barring my kindle) came downstairs in the daytime. The day was for playing.  The four year old was fine, she was happy to play in the kids pool, go the beach and do some paintings with the kids club. The nine year old spent a lot of time moaning he was bored when his holiday friends weren't around. 

Amazingly we managed two weeks with minimum use although the nine year old was the happiest boy to get on his Xbox and chat to his friends when we got home. 

There us a happy medium with letting the kids have screen time and getting them moving. Its just finding it.

Why I Wont Be Doing The Ice Bucket Challenge

Social networking has been fabulous for many things, advertising lost beloved pets, missing people, and raising awareness for many charities.  

I'm sure none of you have failed to notice you can't scroll through your news feed on Facebook without seeing someone doing the "ice bucket challenge".   There have been in excess of 2.4million ice-bucket videos posted on Facebook and another 3.7million on Instagram.   But how many people get what it's about and actually donate to a charity?  ALS -  Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Association, the American originator of the idea and  its British equivalent, the Motor Neurone Disease Association, has also benefited. From 29 July to 28 August this year ALS received $98.2m - compared with $2.7m donated during the same period last year.  Pre-ice bucket, the MND Association would receive on average £200,000 a week in donations. From 22 to 29 August, it received £2.7m.  Other charities have also benefited including McMillan Cancer Support and Water Aid by people who are against the wastage of water.

My nine year old asked if he could do it.  I said no. He said his friend had done it three times. When I asked him what charity his friend gave money to he didn't know.  Once I explained the concept he'd thought twice about it. Also because I wasn't going to Tesco to buy a bag of ice.  I wonder how much money the supermarkets have made from this?

I don't feel the need to throw a bucket of cold water over my head to donate to charity. I already have a monthly direct debit set up to support a charity. I spend a good part of my lunch hour criss-crossing the road so often to avoid the chuggers (Charity Muggers who want to sign you up to another direct debit). I often put change into donation boxes as I pass by, I  buy raffle tickets, I round up my spend in Pets At Home (yes; if you ask a lot of shops can do this). I donate old toys & clothes to charity shops and I often buy things in charity shops.  

I do my bit without getting cold and wet. So thanks for the nomination, but no thanks.

Time For Bribery

My children are at war. With each other and MrM and I.  They can't be nice to each other and are struggling to be nice to us too, unless it's impeccable manners when they want... chocolate, fizzy drinks, ice lollies, donuts, McDonalds, toys (insert something "wanted"  here).

I've tried shouting, asking them to ignore each other and pretend the other one doesn't exist, getting on my knees and begging with tears rolling down my sad face.  Now it's time for the big guns. Bribery.  Some you may know this by another name.  "The Reward Chart" 

The nine year old hasn't had a reward chart since he was three and we were potty training.  This is a big step (back?).  The four year old has never had one but as she is a mini Kim Jong-un I think it's time.  I'm staging my own mini coup, in my own house!

I saw the charts in Sainsburys, his n hers. Perfect.  3 for 2 which was a bit of a bugger as I needed two charts and therefore two sets of stickers.  I decided that rather than just dictate to them what I wanted them to do I had to sit with them so we could choose some achievable goals.  These may change week by week.

The four year old. 

1. Dress myself. - She is more than capable of this but with the attitude of a diva princess all we get is "I WANT YOU TO DO IT". Now I don't mind helping if she didn't shout it and not add please.

2. Tidy Toys & Books.   - A trail of destruction is left in her wake until she is asked to tidy it away and then she is miraculously "too tired" and needs to go to bed.

3. Don't shout at Mummy & Daddy. - The demands I can deal with, IF she didn't shout at me if I haven't answered within 5 seconds.  

4. Go to bed and don't get up. - One of my bug bears.  I was always that self satisfied smug woman who had children with a set bedtime routine, who went to bed, fell asleep and stayed asleep until the crack of dawn (I have forsaken lie-ins for a quiet evening with the TV).  Now both my children get up a million times with various ailments, dying of thirst and the need to tell me something very important.

The nine year old:

1. Play with Ozzie more. - Ozzie is our 11 month old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.  I will tell you he was my 40th birthday present but another reason was for the nine year old to learn to be a bit more responsible.  He loves Ozzie but the x-box is more alluring.

2.Tidy bedroom - Whilst the nine year old has less toys than the four year old. His bedroom is like a teenagers.  He finds it difficult to put anything away and his clothes and bathroom towel keep being left on his bedroom floor. This needs to stop before he hits puberty.

3. Don't tease the four year old.- He's admitted he does it.. sometimes.  He knows she is a whirlwind of anger, you can look at her the wrong way and get moaned at.  He plays on this, sits too close, smiles in her face, blocks her on the stairs.. then he ends up crying in frustration because she is a master manipulator and gets her own back somehow.  

4. Go to bed and don't get up - See four year old's number 4.


The reward?? Some holiday spending money.   I haven't decided how much to part with yet.  I was thinking €5 for a week of better behaviour.  Lets' see if my little darlings can manage a week first!